Hi,

This week, I’m answering a question about managing our own tempers, as parents. We’ve all had moments when we’re not our best selves with our kids. Here are some ideas that can help in the moment and later.

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Warm wishes,

Q: I feel so guilty when I lose my temper with my kids. How do I become more patient?

First let me say: We’ve all been there. I have a naturally patient disposition plus six years of graduate education, but when my kids were young, there were definitely moments when I stood in the middle of our family room and yelled, “Stop screaming, all of you!” Obviously, this was not helpful. It certainly isn’t on anyone’s list of recommended parenting techniques. It’s also very human.

We adults value calm, order, and logic, but kids are often noisy, messy, and unreasonable. We need to get stuff done and be on time. Kids live in the moment and don’t want to put their shoes on or stop what they’re doing. We love our children, but sometimes they’re hard to live with!

In the moment

Let’s start with some emergency, heat-of-the-moment strategies, for when you’re about to explode or you’re started on that path.